Mummy goes to the bottom of the class

You know when you have good intentions and everything conspires against you, making you look like a really bad parent? Honestly, it was a conspiracy. It was nothing to do with me forgetting all about my child. Nothing like that. At all.

Anyway, today my four-year-old was at a one day dance workshop. I dropped her and her two rather chatty friends off at 10am, went off and did the usual errands with the other three children. Just before lunchtime, the Dad took over so I could get some work done, which was fantastic. It was a lovely, sunny day and it was a shame to be cooped up inside, but it's not often I get a few hours to concentrate on work, so I took advantage. The Dad brought me some lunch, bless him, and I managed to read a couple of articles, and added some more words to my paper. I'll probably think better and delete them again in a few days, but at least my word count will rise for a bit.

At 2.30pm, with my brain completely in my work, the Dad shouted up and asked when I was supposed to be setting off to watch the four-year-old do her little dance show and collect her. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit times about a thousand!!! I ran downstairs, grabbed my car keys, the video camera, and phone and jumped in the car. The journey took about 15 minutes that morning, so I should be ok for the 2.45pm start.

I got to the top of the road and the traffic was three times as bad as this morning. Then I got to the level crossing, and the barriers were down for an approaching train. I got through this and the town centre was reeeeeaaaalllllly busy, and every traffic light seemed to be red. By the time I got through town, it was already 2.45pm, and I still had another ten minutes to go. 

I screeched up at the dance centre at 2.55pm, and walked into the already full studio just as they were starting to present an activity they had done earlier in the day. Relief. It looked like they had only just started the show. They must've been over-schedule. I waved to the mums of the four-year-old's friends who were laughing at me. At. Me. The cheek of it.

Oh well. I found a space on the floor right at the front so my daughter could see I had turned up. I knew she would be looking for me, and she did. She saw me, smiled, and gave me a little wave. I was full of pride. Not just for her, but for me, for being a good Mummy and not missing her show after all. The Gods of parenting had smiled on me and delayed her show so I could be there for her.

They gave their little presentation, and then the teacher said some terrible, terrible words. She said that they were going to do one more dance, and that it would be the last one. She joked this would come as a relief to us parents who had sat through two dances already. TWO? I hadn't seen any. Just the short activity presentation. My heart sank. My two mum friends laughed inwardly at my expense, as did all the other punctual parents. Probably. I couldn't see them laughing, but they were. 

I watched the last dance, which was great. My daughter was the smallest one there and she did as well as everyone else, even better in my eyes. When she'd finished, she came over and I asked her how her day had been. She said it was great, but the best part was when I came in to see her dancing, and she gave me the biggest smile and hug. 

I. Am. The. Worst. Mother. In. The. World.

#MedalMonday - 2nd April 2012

Medal Monday is back!!

It's lovely to see you. Sorry about the short break but we've been busy doing important parenting stuff - some of it successfully, some of it not. But that's a different story for another day.

Medal Monday is the linky where we share and celebrate our parenting victories. You might have won a battle with the school, or just actually made a meal your children will eat. Whatever it is you're proud of, blog about it and bring it here for us all to share, and bow down at your all-round awesomeness.

#FailFriday - 16th March 2012

EYES FRONT!!

Welcome back to Fail Friday. Did you miss us? Sorry we've not been around for a few weeks but we've been really busy - out on manoeuvres and all that. Honest, captain.

Fail Friday is now becoming a bigger, monthly weekly which will be kicked off on a Friday in the middle of the month. You can link up a new or old post on the topic of parenting fails. Tweet us @parentfrontline with the link to your blog post and we'll tweet it out to our army of parent followers. They might all come and just point at you and say 'Ha-ha!' like Nelson off The Simpsons, but whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Hopefully.


Anyway, to start things off again I would like to impart to you my latest parenting faux-pas.


Picture the scene: a modest semi in sleepy suburbia. Parents lovingly tidying the house while the older two children are at their perfect, little village school. The cherubic twins snoozing blissfully in the pram. The parents smile at each other as they find little pieces of artwork their young children have created just for them. Perfect little masterpieces. LOTS of masterpieces. 

Fast forward a few hours when the young, curly haired, bushy-eyed girls return from school and the younger one spots her masterpieces in the recycling box next to the back door.

Fail: Never, ever forget to actually bin the artwork you seem to be drowning in. And do it properly.

Result: Floods, and floods of tears that you may actually drown in.

Ooops. That'll be a big fat fail badge for me then. If you want one too, the code is over to the right.

It would be lovely to see all you other parenting failures linking up. Even if it's just to make crap ones like me feel a bit better.

Cheerios. 

6 things to do with the kids this Easter holiday

School holidays can sometimes get a bit stressful, and finding new and exciting things to do with your children can be a struggle. Buyagift.co.uk have given us these great ideas....

Easter falls on 8 April this year. And to make sure that you have the very best Easter break with the kids, we’ve come up with six fantastic things to keep them occupied, so that you have more time to relax!

Take them to see the meerkats

Watch their little faces light up when they meet Aleksandr and his little friends at Paradise Wildlife Park. They’ll not only get to see these cute critters up close, but they’ll also be presented with their own certificate as a memento – simples!

Take a trip to Brighton 

If last year is anything to go by then we should be in for some pleasant weather this Easter. And where better to spend a warm, April day, than by the sea? Brighton is a fantastic place to take the kids and not only for its stretch of cobbled beach - it boasts some fantastic green spaces for them to let off some steam - and Its famous Sea Life Centre is also a must see. We recommend taking a walk through the peaceful gardens of the Royal Pavilion, too – bliss!

What about a junior driving experience in the UK?

While they’ll probably be driving you up the wall for the remainder of the week, why not treat them to an exhilarating junior driving experience in the UK? This is perfect for the little speed demons in your life because they’ll have the chance to drive a supercar under controlled conditions away from the public road -and all under the supervision of an ADI instructor. Best suited to children aged 12-16, they’ll thoroughly enjoy their day out at tracks across the UK.

Roll on Easter – it’s  zorbing time!

Although for older children, Zorbing is great! If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s the latest craze to come out of New Zealand. Essentially this is an activity that involves rolling down a track strapped into a huge padded ball – it’s fantastic.  A great way for them to cut loose outdoors and spend some of that built up energy, we guarantee they’ll sleep after this!

Send them on an Easter egg hunt!

Everybody’s a winner with this one. You’ll get to see them all excited as they forage around for tasty treats in the garden. And besides, it gets them outdoors for the day too – can’t be bad!

Take them on a tour around the stadium of their favourite team

If you’ve a budding Wayne Rooney in your house, you’ll know that a dream tour of their favourite stadium will make his or her year! Not only will they get to explore every area – from the changing rooms to the stand - but they’ll also get a once in a lifetime chance to take a walk down the player’s tunnel!

Whatever you decide to do with the kids this Easter, make sure you have a fantastic time!