#FailFriday - August 2012

Wow, fails aplenty linked up last month, which is great. I think. Most importantly it means I'm not the only loser. 

So here's this month's round-up:

First of all, there is me, The Sarge, with another classic tale of taking my eye off the ball. Never, ever take your eyes off the ball. Especially when kitchen appliances are involved. Read my pitiful offering here. Oops.

Regular trooper, Katriina, ponders whether bringing her children up in a multi-national way is doing them any favours. I say yes, but then (as is shown above), what do I know? Read Katriina's story 'My little mongrel'

Actually Mummy told us all about her mummy, who has been having a moment or two. It's very bad manners to link someone else in to fail Friday, but we'll forgive her - she is only eight. Read her tale of Mummy reaching the end of her tether.

You're Not From Round Here made a complete tit of herself in front of her unwitting neighbours and children, all because of a tiny eight-legged enemy. Fail, fail, fail!!! Read her story here.

But taking the Big, Fat Fail award after submitting not one, not two, but THREE fail stories, it's Mum of Three World. Read all about a swimming trip disaster blamed on baby brain, not buying her child shoes, and a disastrous day full of school reports and crashing the car in Tesco's car park. Not clever, not pretty and nothing to be proud of.

Please visit all our failures and give them your sympathy.

Now to this week's proceedings. If you identify with the troopers above, then help is available. Grab the Big, Fat Fail badge (from the sidebar on the right), and link your post below. Tweet us on @parentfrontline with #FailFriday. We'll all come over, point and laugh, and offer our sympathy.

The battle of nappy hill.

Nappy changing - that essential job that no parent can avoid. It's crap, I know, but wishing it away isn't going to make it stop. The main problem with nappy changing is that the little person we are trying to help through the act of changing a nappy is the same little person who we have to fight to make it happen. And my word, aren't they good at resistance?

What are they thinking when we go to change their nappy? If only we could read their minds. The secret to successful nappy changing is being able to either make the little enemy conform, or to outsmart them when they try evasion tactics. Try our nappy changing advice and tips.

First of all, it pays to get good at the whole nappy changing operation while they are still too small to think about playing up. Practice doing things one handed and set yourself speed challenges. Once they start rolling over, you will find all the practice very useful.

Aw cute! But don't be fooled. These things can stink. Baaaaaad.

When they start rolling, you now have to be able to change nappies with one hand while holding the baby down with the other. If you don't have anyone around to help you, then pray that the nappy isn't tooooooo bad. Otherwise, it's game over already.

Keep the wipes within reach, unless you have twins and it's a whole different ball game altogether. This is when you need to keep them within reach of you and out of reach of the second twin, who will grab the wipes and run off laughing if you give them half a chance. Recommended kit: a play-pen. 

Also, if you do have twins or more, you will also need to practice nappy changing while blind-folded and with a wriggly weight on your back. Or you need to pay someone to do all this for you. Anyway...

If it's a really bad nappy, then get a couple of carrier bags ready - one for the waste, and one for any clothing. Avoid changing a wriggly baby on a mat placed on a carpet. Always put the mat on a wipeable floor instead. Lino is fab. I speak from experience here, so pay attention!

Older babies get wise to your tactics. When they get to around fifteen months old, they seem to comply with the nappy change, but don't be fooled. They are really lulling you into a false sense of security, biding their time until you let down your guard using your spare hand to get the clean nappy - then they're up and off quicker than a greased ferret. And that's you, chasing after a half-naked baby like a frickin' eejit. If they don't tiddle on the floor in the time between now and managing to catch them, then count yourself lucky, soldier. Do not ever remove your hand from that baby. Ever. 

As they get older, I'd like to say it gets easier, but it doesn't. They up their game, content wise. And then they get curious and start sticking their hands in. Recommended kit: straight jacket, or willing assistant. 

The next weapon in your armoury should be potty training, and the sooner the better. And good luck with that one!

Sergeant J's personal blog is over at Trouble Doubled.

#MedalMonday - July 2012

Right-o. I'm sick of hearing about all you failures* so thought it was about time we looked at the happy side of parenting - all you parenting successes. You know who you are. You might not be the greatest parent in the world ever, but I'm sure you've done something, even something very small, of which you are proud. It can be something recent or not, something funny or not, on any topic - food, crafts, a battle won.

If you have then well done you! Grab the victory badge (from the right sidebar) for your post and link up below. Tweet us @parentfrontline with #medalMonday and we'll retweet you to our army of parent troopers. We will all come and marvel at your parenting prowess and revel in your glory.

If you haven't, then you best come back next week for #failFriday. See you then. Especially you.

* I am so not. I will never, ever tire of them.

{The sarge}

The bedtime standoff.

We're having a bit of a standoff at home at the moment, the husband and I. It's over the battleground that is our four-year-old's night-time bedwetting.

It's a bit of a battle because I have one philosophy and action plan, and he has another entirely. I don't really know who's right to be honest. We are both doing what we think is best, which is all we can do, but it does lead to bickering every now and again.

My approach is to let the four-year-old have a drink before bed, if she wants one. I don't like going to bed thirsty and I don't think it's fair to force the children to. I make sure she has a wee before bed and, when I go to bed later at around 11pm, I will lift her on to the toilet where she will do another sleepy wee. This is usually enough to get her through until morning, when fingers crossed, she is dry. My philosophy is that her body will grow and learn to go longer between wees at night in it's own time and that by lifting her I am saving us a whole lot of stress in a morning, when I least need it.

His battle plan is different. He won't let her have a drink after the evening meal. She goes for a wee at bedtime but then he leaves her all night, with the logic that her body will learn faster if we're not lifting her. With this approach, she is more likely to be wet in the morning, and that leaves whoever is on morning duties to sort the bed out and give the four-year old a bath before school. But if it's his turn on duty, I don't argue because it's him that'll bear the fallout and that's his choice to make.

I wouldn't say it's causing arguments but it's probably the thing we disagree on most. I don't like the way he leaves her and then tells her off when she's wet, which I see as inevitable if you expect someone of that age to go 10 hours without the toilet - asleep or not. I tell him that I think he is wrong, but then I'm not totally convinced I'm going about it the right way myself. 

What's your philosophy on night-time bed-wetting?