Five Ways to Stop Bedtime Becoming a Battlefield

This is a guest post by Fiona Longmuir, marketing manager at StorkUp. StorkUp helps parents navigate the world of kids' products and allows them to explore over 400 children's retailers all in one place!

Cranky kids and overworked parents can turn bedtime into a real battlefield. Sleepless nights are one of the most dreaded and feared side effects of becoming a parent, and can turn parents and kids alike into monsters! Here are five ways to put an end to those bedtime blues:

1) Routine, routine, routine. Keeping to a consistent routine lets kids know what to expect. If every night is bath time, teeth brushing, story time and sleep, children will know what is coming next and be more likely to fall in line. The routine also helps them associate the activities with winding down and relaxing, which will help to bring sleep on more easily. If a story with mum or dad in bed is always followed by sleep, it will become second nature to start yawning when the book comes to an end.

2) Don’t let your little one get overtired. Sleep has a window of opportunity, and once the window is past, they’re going to get a second wind. A toddler who has skipped a nap or an older kid who has jumped from activity to activity all day will be beyond tired and find it difficult to settle down to sleep. Children who are past napping age might benefit from some quiet rest time in their rooms during the day to prevent them from getting overtired and to allow them to recharge.

3) Overtired is bad, but tired is good. If your child is spending a lot of time being sedentary, perhaps in front of the television or playing video games, it is time to get them moving. Physical activity is a must to keep them healthy and to help them not to feel restless at bedtime.

4) Transition into the quiet. Just as it is important to have a routine, it needs to be a quiet and relaxing one. If your child is watching television before bed, make sure that the show is not something over stimulating that will wind them up. The same idea plays into stories and books. If you are reading something suspenseful or that your child might find scary, it could keep them awake and make them resist bedtime. Keep the house quiet also. Imagine trying to fall asleep while people are in the other room playing loud music or banging dishes. A quiet peaceful house at bedtime can go a long way to helping children relax and readily go off to bed themselves.

5) If things get rough, try a sticker chart combined with a reward for going to bed nicely. Kids respond best to positive reinforcement. Set up a chart and put a sticker each day the child peacefully goes to bed. Let them know they are working toward ten stickers and agree on a reward for reaching that ten sticker goal. This process will get them in the habit of going to bed nicely.

Follow these suggestions and things are sure to go more smoothly at bedtime. Sweet Dreams!

Protecting your children from the fallout of renegade activity. A tale of drugs and fear.

This is a guest post from Michelle, a mother of two who writes at Lost in Blaenavon.

"I know that Flower and Bear are only little, but this is a cruel world. There are paedophiles, drug dealers, drug addicts and generally some nasty people about who are addicted to the thrill that causing someone pain brings! So I'm worried for their safety. Even though I live in a quiet area, I know that there are places that I need to make sure my children avoid, but now it's being forced into their little world. But maybe I should start from the beginning!

I have a brother who is almost eight years my junior. He was a lovely child, who always tried to defend me and would always make sure he helped anyone out whenever he could. When he was about thirteen, he changed overnight! We assumed it was just the fact that he was a teenager and had hormones raging round his system like all teenagers, but it was something a lot more powerful than that, he became very secretive and started stealing money from us. We couldn't prove it was him and so we just made sure we kept no cash in the house.

When he was sixteen, the truth came out and our whole family was devastated! We're a respectable, hard working, religious family so we weren't expecting anything of the sort! It hit us all like a ton of bricks! My brother had been given drugs by a drug dealer in school and he had become addicted to cannabis and cocaine. You name it, he had tried it. He blamed my father's heart attack for his delving into drugs, but I blame the drug dealer that offered him a free sample!

He refused all help and moved out not long after. My parents knew where he was and kept an eye on him. To protect me and my siblings, we weren't told where he was living or anything. I knew a rough area where he lived, but that was it. Maybe it was a good thing, maybe not. For two years, I barely saw him and each time I did he looked worse and worse. How he kept down a job, I have no idea! Every now and then, he'd come home complaining about the lad he was sharing a house with, saying that he couldn't live there anymore, but every time my parents told him the rules for his return home, he would leave the next day and we wouldn't see him for a few months. It was hard because we never knew if the last time we saw him would be the last!

Eventually, after two years, he saw sense. He came home asking for help to free himself of the habits he'd developed so long ago. This was great wasn't it? It was good, except that his drug dealers weren't about to let a cash cow like him get away with dropping the habit! I don't think it helped that he owed them so much money!

They put death threats out on the whole family to try to scare him into giving them the money. Fortunately they didn't know where we lived, but they did have our phone number. Night after night, we would receive threatening phone calls from them and no matter how many numbers we blocked, the following night they would have another ten numbers to ring from.

The police were fabulous! I have to admit! They came and spoke to us and took lists of numbers away and generally reassured us. But the threats to our life were very real. In the first few weeks after my brother came home when the death threats started, the police said to my father that he needed to move his entire family away. We had no choice.

We tried to move my grandmother without telling her, but she was being stubborn and we had a lot of nasty comments from her friends about us taking her away. Eventually, my father told her the truth and she was the first to move. I moved with her as my volunteer work had become too dangerous in the area and I had to transfer.

We left friends and jobs and a beautiful house behind because of my brother's drug habits! In fairness, he has cleaned up his life and doesn't drink or do drugs anymore and now has three boys and a wife. At 23 he's more like the boy he was than when he was 13!

And that is what worries me about Flower and Bear. How do I protect them from the pain that I and my family suffered because of one person's stupidity! How would you do it? How would you protect your family? How can you educate your children about drugs?"

How to support a twin mum

Here is a guest post from Rebecca at Here come the girls. She blogs about life with her three girls, and especially her two year old twin terrors. Here is the advice she would give to friends or family of a multiple mum.

I was really lucky and have had lots of support from my friends and family when I found out I was expecting twins. It can be a bit of a mine field really. Everyone is expecting one child, but to find there is going to be more than one is a complete shock to everyone. People don't always know how to react, especially if they aren't familiar with twins.

1. When you find out someone you care about is expecting twins be careful expressing your own reaction. Wait to find out how they are feeling. It is such a shock. You might be overwhelmingly delighted but the expectant parents are probably just feeling bewildered and out of their depth. Equally don't tell them how hard twins are, or ask how they are going to possibly cope, they will be worrying themselves. 

I was amazed by how many comments I received which were negative about having twins. By negative I mean - how many people said "Oh god, how will you possibly cope" or "Oh no, poor you, I'd hate to have twins." Congratulate warmly and then offer help. Lots and lots of help.

2. When buying presents, check what they need, money is going to be tight, so every present needs to be useful as well as beautiful. Check the parents' views of twin clothing. People tend to have strong views on whether they want to dress their twins in matching, coordinated or completely different clothes. Also be careful giving hand me downs, sometimes it's harder to find co-ordinated outfits if that's what they want.

It may not sound fancy but probably the best present we had was lots and lots of nappies. You can make them look very fancy with bows and ribbons, but they are the most expensive outlay twin parents will have.

3. Everyone will want to visit the new babies so be careful not to overwhelm the new family in the first few weeks. Let them lead the way. Also be patient if they don't get back to you with messages or phone calls. I found this the hardest in the early days. I was so happy to get the attention but when I did get a few moments to myself I couldn't hold a train of thought. I had a few conversations where I was so drunk with tiredness I made no sense whatsoever!

4. Help as much as possible. Offer something tangible like taking the babies for a walk in the pram rather than just a general offer of help. If the family has older children don't just offer to take them out. I wanted my daughter to stay close to us so she didn't feel pushed out, yet everyone offered to look after her. Instead I would have liked someone to take the babies for a few hours so I could spend time with her, or do some jobs.

All the books say help by doing household tasks. That's brilliant in theory but not many people would want someone looking under their sofa, so check, but do ask because any help would be appreciated. The easiest way to help is to offer to pick things up from the shop before you visit, it's really tricky popping to the shop with two or more babies so this will always be welcome. You can do a big internet shop but it's tricky if you've just run out of milk. 

5. Don't compare having twins to anything else. It isn't like having one baby. It isn't like having two babies eighteen months apart. These things have their own unique challenges. It's the same if I met someone with triplets, or quads. I wouldn't say - oh yes having twins is just as hard. It isn't. Ask them what it's like and what is hard. They will delight in telling you about the unique joys of raising twins. 

Finally tell them repeatedly they look amazing, they are doing a brilliant job and you are so proud of them. Even if they greet you at the front door in a tatty dressing gown, with unwashed hair, baby sick on their shoulder, three day old make-up smeared down their face, a pile of unwashed laundry in every corner and dirty plates on every surface. Tell them they are amazing - even if their twins are nearly five and on their way to school. Honestly twin mums need all the praise they can get - dear Lord - they are they just had two babies at once - two babies I tell you! They deserve a medal. 

You can follow Rebecca on twitter @1978rebecca

or find her on her facebook page

A bit of give and take - the art of negotiating with the enemy

This is a guest post from Ben Wakeling, author of Goodbye, Pert Breasts.

My day job is as a Quantity Surveyor for a housebuilding company, and yes, I have been known to count bricks, before you ask.

Lots.

A lot of my time, though, is taken up with negotiation – usually over price. Numbers get flung around like poo in a monkey enclosure, things are conceded and gained, and every now and again voices become raised. I’ve come up against novice negotiators, those with decades of experience, and discussions can last from an hour to a month before a decision is finally made.

Lately, though, I’ve come up against a tougher negotiator than even the most seasoned pro. 

His name is Isaac, and he’s 3 years old. He also likes to wear pants on his head.

 

Isaac has mastered the art of saying ‘No’. Whilst adults negotiating and bartering will at least give you something to work on, Isaac will simply point blank refuse to do something if he doesn’t fancy it.

“Isaac, eat your sandwich.”

“No.”

This refusal is illustrated with a frown so strong you can barely see his eyes under accumulated rolls of forehead fat.

“Isaac, please eat your sandwich.”

“No.”

My face, on the other hand, is largely expressionless, like Keanu Reeves or Steven Seagal. I don’t want to show that he’s winding me up: I don’t raise my voice, just make it a bit sterner.

“Isaac, please eat your sandwich now.”

Pause.

“No.”

Suddenly, you find yourself in a negotiation where your chances of getting everything you want are pretty much non-existent, much like Cheryl Cole’s chances of making it big in America. And so, it goes down to half a sandwich, then a quarter, each concession met with the same response. You know he needs to eat the sandwich to flipping survive. All he knows is that he’d rather watch Peppa Pig and do that thing where he scratches his backside for ages.

Parents are caught between a rock and a hard place when it comes to negotiating with their child. If you throw up your hands, say ‘Fine!’ and let him have his way, he knows he can beat you every time. Plus, it means that you suck at discipline. On the other hand, you don’t want things to descend into a full-blown slanging match – not that you’d swear at your children, of course.

 

"Potty mouth!"

So what can you do? Your only option, really, is to stick to your guns. You will, invariably, have to make some concessions, but as long as he eats most of his sandwich then you can chill. Isaac’s at the age where he’s constantly pushing boundaries to see what he can get away with, so as long as I continue to show him who’s boss (in a nice way, i.e. no whipping/caning/detention involved) he’ll probably turn out to be OK. At least, I hope so. If he turns out like me, he’s screwed.

6 things to do with the kids this Easter holiday

School holidays can sometimes get a bit stressful, and finding new and exciting things to do with your children can be a struggle. Buyagift.co.uk have given us these great ideas....

Easter falls on 8 April this year. And to make sure that you have the very best Easter break with the kids, we’ve come up with six fantastic things to keep them occupied, so that you have more time to relax!

Take them to see the meerkats

Watch their little faces light up when they meet Aleksandr and his little friends at Paradise Wildlife Park. They’ll not only get to see these cute critters up close, but they’ll also be presented with their own certificate as a memento – simples!

Take a trip to Brighton 

If last year is anything to go by then we should be in for some pleasant weather this Easter. And where better to spend a warm, April day, than by the sea? Brighton is a fantastic place to take the kids and not only for its stretch of cobbled beach - it boasts some fantastic green spaces for them to let off some steam - and Its famous Sea Life Centre is also a must see. We recommend taking a walk through the peaceful gardens of the Royal Pavilion, too – bliss!

What about a junior driving experience in the UK?

While they’ll probably be driving you up the wall for the remainder of the week, why not treat them to an exhilarating junior driving experience in the UK? This is perfect for the little speed demons in your life because they’ll have the chance to drive a supercar under controlled conditions away from the public road -and all under the supervision of an ADI instructor. Best suited to children aged 12-16, they’ll thoroughly enjoy their day out at tracks across the UK.

Roll on Easter – it’s  zorbing time!

Although for older children, Zorbing is great! If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s the latest craze to come out of New Zealand. Essentially this is an activity that involves rolling down a track strapped into a huge padded ball – it’s fantastic.  A great way for them to cut loose outdoors and spend some of that built up energy, we guarantee they’ll sleep after this!

Send them on an Easter egg hunt!

Everybody’s a winner with this one. You’ll get to see them all excited as they forage around for tasty treats in the garden. And besides, it gets them outdoors for the day too – can’t be bad!

Take them on a tour around the stadium of their favourite team

If you’ve a budding Wayne Rooney in your house, you’ll know that a dream tour of their favourite stadium will make his or her year! Not only will they get to explore every area – from the changing rooms to the stand - but they’ll also get a once in a lifetime chance to take a walk down the player’s tunnel!

Whatever you decide to do with the kids this Easter, make sure you have a fantastic time!

Parents, Politics and my Six Year Old

In this parenting thing that we're all in together, it's not essential that we see eye-to-eye with other parents. It is inevitable that we are going to encounter others whose parenting philosophies don't match ours. What's important is that we don't catch any of our offspring in any hostilities. This guest post has been provided by Claire Smith of Ministry of Mum, and I know she would appreciate your opinion.

Recently I have been subject to something which I consider to be pretty low - the parent that punishes somebody else’s child. I’ve felt compelled to write this blog because it is completely beyond my parenting style and comprehension. So much, in fact, that as well as wanting to rant, I’m curious to know if other parents share my view or if I’m the one that’s completely off my head.

In a nutshell, about a month ago my six year old daughter might have borrowed but probably nicked a mini camera from a mate, resulting in her being banned from that household. To give you some background, we don’t get along with the parents but we have never let this interfere with the children. What happened is this – my daughter went over to play and two days later I discovered that she had this mini camera which doesn’t belong to us. She told me that her friend had said she could borrow it. I was cross because my daughter can be a bit of a magpie - I know my daughter and even though I'm secretly hoping she'll rob something worthwhile one day (new Uggs, Barbour jacket, cash), she’s got to learn that you just can’t take something if you fancy having it for yourself. Of course life took over and we didn’t end up returning the camera until the next day. Anyway, that night my husband who had been away on business and knew nothing about this, received a text from the Dad (who he never speaks to) saying something along the lines of “You may be aware that your daughter stole a camera from our house. We have been looking for it for days. As a consequence she is no longer welcome here.”

These are my thoughts:

1) I don’t think the family even knew it was missing. Because if you couldn’t find an item in your house, the next thing you would do is contact the parents of the child that had been over to check if that child had it. Plus the mother really knows my daughter. She’s known her very well for over three years.

2) Yes my daughter might have ‘stolen’ it and yes she should know not to do this. But no kid is perfect. I’ve had kids over here that have drawn on the furniture, hit my kid, thrown stuff but surely you just have to let this stuff go.

3) Who knows what goes on between six year old girls? Her friend could very well have said she could borrow it. She probably didn’t, but nobody knows that for sure and the friend isn’t likely to admit that now.

4) The parents are projecting the way they feel about us onto our child. And, at the end of the day, SHE’S SIX.

5) Kids will be kids. I know my daughter is no angel. If she did nick it then of course she needs to be reprimanded but surely this is my job?

The other day we ran into the family. Their daughter greeted my daughter like you would a long lost friend. It was sad to see because indirectly the other girl is being punished too as they really do love each other. However the girl said to my daughter: “I’m not cross with you. I’m still your friend. But I’m not allowed to play with you.” This is what got me. If the parents want to tell their daughter the truth then that’s their prerogative, but my daughter knew nothing about the ban. She didn’t need to know. All she needed to know was that if she had taken the camera, then that’s wrong. As I said SHE’S SIX and nobody knew for certain what happened. Oh but she knows about the ban now. She has been questioning me about what this means and of course she’s confused and upset.

It’s got me thinking because maybe my view on this incident is too ‘relaxed’. I am able to laugh off stuff because they are children and, you know what, nobody was harmed. Or am I actually laying the groundwork for the hash-growing, car-jacking, old lady-mugging youths of tomorrow? Probably not. But I have to remember that although there are lots of you out there who 'get' me, there are also people who look down with scorn. You all know them. The parents who believe that their children are perfect, can do no wrong and are seriously shocked by ‘naughty’ behaviour. Who do not want their children playing with the not-so-perfect kids. I understand that everybody’s parenting is different.  I respect that the camera incident was a big deal to the other family but what I can’t respect is the way that it has been handled. In the grand scheme of things it’s not a serious incident, there are far worse things that go on with children. 

So judge away. I’m very interested to hear your views on this. Especially if it’s ‘don’t project your shit on to another person’s child’. Because surely that’s what our own children are for   ;-)

Essential Kit for New Troopers

When you’ve got a baby trooper on the way, the amount of kit that people tell you that you simply can’t live without is overwhelming. You’re bombarded from all sides, advertising, magazines, friends, family, all telling you that you need everything from certain brands of baby wipes to travel systems. People ask you if you have everything you need, if you are ‘prepared’ (believe me, nothing can prepare you for fatherhood) and if the nursery is ready (the one that the trooper won’t be in for months).

When I was about to become a new dad for the first time, I took all this on board. I didn’t want to scrimp on my own offspring after all, I wanted to give them the best start possible, and of course I was pretty excited to make it all seem ‘real’ by buying ‘essential’ baby kit…

And as a result I ended up buying a whole load of stuff that just never got used. A total waste of money. So, if you’re happy to get out there and spend, spend, spend, then don’t let me stop you (it’s good for the economy). But, if like me, you didn’t really know what you need to buy but feel compelled to buy anyway….

STOP!!!!

In the first few weeks the baby trooper needs very little kit. They need to be fed, kept comfortable and clean, and loved. In the weeks before you have a baby trooper at base camp, you don’t need to go on a buying frenzy. You need to plan and prepare. You need to clean and make room for them. One thing that is going to be in really short supply in the next few months is time.

So what are the basics that you need to buy?

·        Nappies and nappy changing kit. Buy the smallest bag of newborn nappies as possible, as baby troopers grow fast. If using non-disposable (washable) nappies, again, don’t buy in bulk. You have to see what is the best fit and type for your baby trooper.

·        Clothing. Baby troopers need to be two things: to be comfortable and accessible (for many nappy changing sorties). So do not buy fussy clothes with fiddly buttons – unless your trooper is going straight from the maternity ward to a wedding or their own graduation, they don’t need an ‘outfit’. They need stretchy, soft, warm clothes that can withstand the rigours of repeated washing. I’ve listed my all-time favourite baby trooper outfit below. Buy enough of it to ensure you always have a few outfits clean (around 6) but not too many as they will grow out of them fast.

o  a cotton babygrow and a sleepsuit with poppers

o  a cotton hat (a lot of heat is lost through the head). If the weather is cold, a warm hat for outdoor use

o  scratch mits (baby troopers have sharp fingernails that aren’t easy to trim)

o  socks (extremities need to be kept warm)

o  a thin cotton cardigan or jacket 

·        Feeding. Some parents chose to bottle feed straight away, but even if your partner is going to breastfeed, you can step up and bottle feed your baby trooper in the evening. When bottle feeding full time, 8 bottles is the optimum number to ensure you always have a clean, sterilised bottle to hand, but don’t go and buy 8. Your baby trooper may not take to them them. You’ll need cleaning and sterilising kit too.

·      Sleeping. Moses basket or cot with a new, snug-fitting mattress. Cotton sheets and thin blankets as it’s easier to regulate temperature with thin layers.

·    Bathing. Somewhere safe to bath the baby. Soft flannels and soft towels, baby shampoo and baby bath.

·        Transport. Car seat that meets safety standards and fits safely and securely in your car. I used a baby carrier in the first few months as it kept my baby trooper safe and close, but both my hands free for other tasks. I bought a second hand pushchair when my baby trooper was a few months older. Those things are built to survive all manner of knocks and there’s some great second hand bargains to be had.

·         First Aid Kit that must include a digital ear thermometer.

And that’s about it – for now. Luckily the baby trooper comes supplied with fully functioning adults who are able to assess their on-going needs and respond accordingly. And believe me, you’ll be up to speed on the real essentials they need before you know it.

Neil Sinclair is an ex-Commando and stay-at-home dad to three troopers Samuel, 10, Jude, 9, and Liberty,5.  He has written a no-nonsense parenting book for new recruits to fatherhood – Commando Dad  - due for publication on May 8 2012. www.commandodad.com.

Words of wisdom from Mama Jax

Mama Jax is here today to share with you all some tried-and-tested survival techniques.

How to survive a sleepover

Sleepover. One of those misnomers, right up there with 'fun run' and 'sports personality'.

Last night Phyllis had her first ever sleepover. Her friend, also 6, came for New Year's Eve and stayed. We survived; having had 3 kids I have developed a very strict set of rules for sleepovers:

1. Choose your guest/s wisely. Phyllis' little friend came from Good Stock. We know the parents and knew that they were bringing her up well. She was polite and fun. Do not choose a child who has multiple piercings under the age of 10, is named Checayne, Tequila or similar, and who's mother is 12. On the flip side, do no allow a child to stay who has a live in nanny and a maid. They will sneer at your Factory Shop furnishings, and demand scrambled quail's eggs on a fat/sugar/salt free brioche for breakfast.

2. Give them sweets. Yes, I know that is against everything you have been brought up to believe, but look at it this way: They will be hyper anyway, would you rather blame their behaviour on Haribo or your total lack of control as a parent?

Thought so.

3. Cram in as many children as will fit in the house. Again, this may seem crazy, but the less space they have, the less they can move. Moving=mischief.

This also makes the inevitable arguments more interesting and varied, and chances are they will tell each other to go to sleep as the first few get tired, saving you a job.

4. Invite children who have unusually early bedtimes. Phyllis' friend is usually tucked up by 6.30pm. The odds on her being tired at a reasonable time are significantly better than, say, a child whose usual bedtime is 9pm.

5. From the age of about 8 or nine, sleepovers become a popular and regular occurrence, particularly with girls. Parents of said kids will usually take turns to host the sleepovers. Make sure your turn falls in the summer months and stick them all in the garden in a tent. Surprise them with one unannounced 'supervision' visit to let them know they are being watched, then leave them to it.

6. Behave totally inappropriately in the house (see 'How to get your teenager to go to bed') to ensure they only come in when absolutely necessary, like if an alien abducts one of them. And maybe not even then.

7. If they are old enough to have a sleepover, they are old enough to make their own breakfast. Leave out a selection of easy things for them to make, like the cornflakes you've been trying to get rid of for months but no-one in your family will eat. Hide the nice stuff! I cannot stress this enough. This particularly applies to teenage boys...

Today: Phrases that may be used in an emergency

"I want you all asleep by 10pm. If you're quiet though, I might forget you're not asleep and you may get to stay up longer..."

"Ah, poor thing. If you can't settle to sleep here, maybe I should take you home."

"Of course you can come in! ***'s (insert name of your child) dad is just watching the 'News at 10' in his pants, but you won't mind that will you?"

For loud music: "Oh my gosh I LOVE this song!! Turn it up!" Dance outrageously.

And further words of wisdom……..

How to get a teenager to go to bed

If any of you like me have a teen, you will know how difficult it is to have some time to yourself. You can't say to a teenager, "Come on, it's bedtime now," without being called lame, or having a HUGE list of whinges and arguments which would fluster an experienced lawyer.

I would like to share with you how I managed to get some alone time for me and my husband. My 16 and 13 year olds go upstairs at 9pm like clockwork, without a murmur, and don't come down at all. They are allowed to read or (16 year old) go on the computer until 10pm at which time, lights out.How did I achieve this minor miracle? Well, after a couple of weeks of constant battling I reached the end of my tether. The conversation went something like this:

Bobby: You're so lame, none of my friends go to bed before midnight, I'll be bullied at school if anyone finds out, blah, blah, blah...

Me: Ok let me put it this way. At 9pm, me and your dad are going to get naked and have sex on the couch whether you're here or not.

You have never seen teenagers move so quickly!!!

For further parenting wisdom, you can visit Mama Jax’s blog. Thank you to Jax for sharing her advice with us.

‘Give us a clue’, ‘Call my bluff’ and other fun games

Children play the most wonderful games.  There is real beauty to their imaginations.  I love how my little girl enjoys getting her toys together for ‘teddy bear picnics’, how she is really starting to explore creative play and dressing up in cute Disney-inspired costumes.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

These aren’t the games I really mean of course.  I wrote that first sentence half sarcastically.  Of course children play the most wonderful games…at times.  But, for the purposes of this post, I’m talking about the other sort of ‘games’; the ones that can have parents (and sometimes children) tearing their hair out in frustration.

It all starts when they’re born.  From that first moment when they open their cute pouty lips and scream the flipping house down, it’s a case of “Give us a clue”.

“Why are you crying?  Are you hungry?  Wet?  Need a cuddle?  Or do you just revel in my misery??!”

Of course, it doesn’t end there.  Oh no, it only gets more interesting as they get older.  My little girl soon learnt that grunting and pointing would normally get her what she wanted.  When my husband and I eventually realised this and stopped pandering to it, she wasn’t best pleased.  We all had to start learning to communicate with each other.  Cue more guesswork…

“Oof eese ‘ummy.” (Translation: “juice please Mummy”)

“Aggy a errrk.” (Translation: “Daddy at work”)

But at least that ‘game’ is kind of fun.  We’re now past this stage and onto the next one: The much less fun game of “Call my bluff”.  It’s the one where your terrible two-year-old does something they know is naughty but they give you a little half-smile while they do it, like they’re daring you to discipline them.  You tell them off.  They continue to ‘act up’, still with that little half-smile on their adorable face and possibly looking you straight in the eye while they’re at it.  It’s an exercise in pushing the boundaries of acceptable behaviour to see how long it takes before you snap.  Yes, this is a great game (voice dripping with heavy sarcasm).

My little girl has been playing this one with me for a while now, normally at mealtimes to avoid having to eat things she doesn’t want to (the whole fussy eater thing is a different issue entirely).  I’ve tried the ‘Supernanny’ technique of giving warnings before a consequence. Sometimes it has a (temporary) effect.  Sometimes it has no effect at all.  Sometimes I find that ignoring her behaviour makes her calm down quicker and behave.  Sometimes it makes her more het up.

This parenting lark is a load of fun isn’t it?!* 

So, what ‘games’ do your children play with you?  And how do you handle them? 

* I must add, in fairness to my two little ones, they are only little monsters about 20% of the time.  They are mostly smiley, happy darlings for which I am always grateful.


This is a guest post from Laura, a mum of two little ones under the age of three, and author of the parenting blog, Chez Mummy. As well as writing about her (mis)adventures in parenting on her blog, Laura also pens the weekly intro for the Love All Blogs video showcase and writes a monthly round-up of health-related blog posts for BritMums.  In her spare time she...Oh wait, what spare time??!  Come and say hi on twitter or Facebook.