#FailFriday - March 2014

#FailFriday is back!!

#FailFriday is for all your tales of parenting woes. Grab the badge, link up your story below, and share with us on Twitter.  What have you done wrong recently? Don't worry, we're not here to judge. Or to laugh. Mostly.

Me? I feel like a bit of a failure this week. I've had twins with chicken pox, and it's been a nasty bout. Nastier than it was with my older two children. My twins spent most of one day crying over the state of each other. To them, looking at each other was like looking in a mirror and upsetting themselves. They've been sore and itchy, and hot and cold, and very uncomfortable. 

There's not been a lot I could do really. They don't like the calamine cream, and are sick of lukewarm baths. I'm exhausted. We got through the week but not without dubious amounts of Calpol, a lot of tears and some falling out. And not just with the children. 

Anyway, if you want some reassurance that you're doing alright really, come and link up and we'll all come and give you our sympathies. 

The badge is on the right >>>>

Firework fail

I'm typing this while waiting for our bonfire night dinner to cook - fish, pasta, and vegetables. Hardly bonfire night fare. I should really have done hot dogs or something but I'm having a real case of the can't-be-arseds. 

We've always done something on bonfire night. I'm not one for doing it on a weekend instead. To me, either do it in the actual night or don't bloody bother. 

Tonight, with the kids going back to school after an extraordinarily busy week, and the husband being at work on late shift right now, I really can't motivate myself to make the effort.

On the way home from school, the children were asking if we were having people over?

I said no.

So they asked about their cousins, and if they were coming like last year?

Again, no.

So they said they'd just have to have the fireworks with us, as a family.

I told them we didn't have fireworks. 

I do have a box of sparklers from last year, and we'll go in the garden later and do them, and watch the neighbours fireworks, and that'll be that for another year.

I feel terribly guilty, and that I have failed them again due to my own lack of motivation and energy levels. 

This is the total sum of our entertainment for this evening. 

#fail

Five Ways to Stop Bedtime Becoming a Battlefield

This is a guest post by Fiona Longmuir, marketing manager at StorkUp. StorkUp helps parents navigate the world of kids' products and allows them to explore over 400 children's retailers all in one place!

Cranky kids and overworked parents can turn bedtime into a real battlefield. Sleepless nights are one of the most dreaded and feared side effects of becoming a parent, and can turn parents and kids alike into monsters! Here are five ways to put an end to those bedtime blues:

1) Routine, routine, routine. Keeping to a consistent routine lets kids know what to expect. If every night is bath time, teeth brushing, story time and sleep, children will know what is coming next and be more likely to fall in line. The routine also helps them associate the activities with winding down and relaxing, which will help to bring sleep on more easily. If a story with mum or dad in bed is always followed by sleep, it will become second nature to start yawning when the book comes to an end.

2) Don’t let your little one get overtired. Sleep has a window of opportunity, and once the window is past, they’re going to get a second wind. A toddler who has skipped a nap or an older kid who has jumped from activity to activity all day will be beyond tired and find it difficult to settle down to sleep. Children who are past napping age might benefit from some quiet rest time in their rooms during the day to prevent them from getting overtired and to allow them to recharge.

3) Overtired is bad, but tired is good. If your child is spending a lot of time being sedentary, perhaps in front of the television or playing video games, it is time to get them moving. Physical activity is a must to keep them healthy and to help them not to feel restless at bedtime.

4) Transition into the quiet. Just as it is important to have a routine, it needs to be a quiet and relaxing one. If your child is watching television before bed, make sure that the show is not something over stimulating that will wind them up. The same idea plays into stories and books. If you are reading something suspenseful or that your child might find scary, it could keep them awake and make them resist bedtime. Keep the house quiet also. Imagine trying to fall asleep while people are in the other room playing loud music or banging dishes. A quiet peaceful house at bedtime can go a long way to helping children relax and readily go off to bed themselves.

5) If things get rough, try a sticker chart combined with a reward for going to bed nicely. Kids respond best to positive reinforcement. Set up a chart and put a sticker each day the child peacefully goes to bed. Let them know they are working toward ten stickers and agree on a reward for reaching that ten sticker goal. This process will get them in the habit of going to bed nicely.

Follow these suggestions and things are sure to go more smoothly at bedtime. Sweet Dreams!

From colour to style: considerations when decorating any family home

Disclosure - this is a sponsored post

So, you’ve got the kids home from school, put the dinner on and started to eye up the pile of ironing yet to complete. Your mind is so occupied with thoughts of your daily routine that you may have overlooked more pressing concerns – like the walls that are in desperate need of a lick of paint or the door which no longer sits flush against the frame.

When tearing round the house after your little ones it can be easy to overlook the need to redecorate but once you notice an imperfection you’ll struggle to see anything else!

As with any form of redecoration, there are numerous considerations you have to make with colour and style two of the biggest factors when decorating a family home.

Colour

This is an important factor in any home but for families your choice of shade will be based on practical as well as personal reasons. Light coloured carpets may be great for increasing the illusion of space but they don’t really hold up to the mess little ones can make. 

Instead, darker floor coverings are best and wipe-clean options such as laminate or vinyl flooring are incredibly practical.

The same ideas apply to wall colour. If you’re going to go with a neutral palette then opt for a slightly darker, biscuit shade which won’t show marks as much and consider looking at wash-clean paint which is specifically designed for family homes.

Style

Style is a very important factor to consider and can make or break the appearance of your home. If the brickwork, window frames and roof tiles are all of a certain style, then try and follow suit with any decoration you add. 

A contemporary house will benefit from solid panels, clean lines and a modern wood timber front door, for example, but a traditional home may be more suited to intricate glass panels and a more delicate handle for their front door.

The style will generally be dictated by the property itself but there are ways to merge old and new ideas if you want to give your old-fashioned home an update. 

Longevity

The last consideration you must make when redecorating your home is how long it will last. Children grow up fast and this means that any decorations you add which embrace their favourite characters may become outdated in a matter of weeks.

The important lesson here is to keep things as safe as possible. Always decorate with the future in mind and pick something that will last.

If your kids insist on having their favourite character from kids TV brought into their room then opt for soft toys or small accessories like lampshades and bedspreads which are easier to replace than intricate wallpapers and considerably cheaper too. 

A brief guide to probate issues

Disclosure - this is a sponsored post

A brief guide to probate issues

Probate refers to the process of applying to manage the estate of someone who has died. This management involves collecting the assets of a deceased person, ensuring their debts and taxes are paid off and, finally, making sure remaining assets are distributed to the beneficiaries of the estate.

It can be quite a complicated and time-consuming process but Co-Operative probate advice can help guide you through the legal maze and avoid any potential pitfalls. So, what do you need to know about probate and the potential issues before you get started?

When is probate required?

Probate is usually required when property is held in the sole name of the deceased or as tenants in common. This is when both parts of a couple, or any other joint homeowners, hold set shares of a house – whether half each or any other percentage. The more usual arrangement for couples is to own a property as joint tenants. In this case ownership of the house automatically passes to the survivor.

Probate may also be required if the deceased benefited from a trust or held assets worth of at least £5,000 with financial institutions. Some banks and other institutions may have a higher threshold than this so it is usually worth checking with the institutions individually.

Who sorts out probate?

When a person dies, someone has to deal with their financial affairs and associated issues. This is known as administering the estate and is undertaken by an executor or personal representative. If the person who died left a Will, the document names executors who can apply for a grant of probate to handle the estate.

If the deceased died intestate (without a valid Will) the situation is a little more complex. A grant known as letters of administration must be issued instead, allowing a personal representative to take charge of affairs.

Details of all the dead person's assets, including property, savings accounts and shares must be gathered by those handling the estate and liabilities such as mortgages and other debts must be deducted to work out how much the estate is actually worth. Inheritance tax must also be paid if applicable and the estate must be divided between the beneficiaries as outlined by the Will or the rules of intestacy.

Many people prefer to let experts handle probate and issues regarding estate administration. It is possible to do all this yourself but it can be a complex and stressful process so it's worth seeking professional help. It should also be noted that executors are liable for any miscalculations or errors. If you fail to report and pay tax, or miss out a beneficiary, you could end up having to rectify your mistake out of your own pocket.

#FailFriday - October 2012

It's that time again where we congregate at the alter of parenting and confess our sins. You know you're not completely innocent or you wouldn't be here, would you?

Have you added your confession to our linky yet? (It's at the bottom of the post just in case you were maybe thinking about possibly linking up).

Don't forget to tweet us with #FailFriday and leave a comment so we know you're around. All good fail stories will be included in next month's round-up, so don't delay. The badge code is to the right >>>>>

So, who were our failures last month?

First off the blocks was Actually Mummy, who's fondness for a certain, mummy-friendly beverage landed her in Embarrassment Town. Oops.

Then there was In A Different Voice who put forward not one, not two, but a fail for every day of the week. That's my girl!

So go and visit and offer some words of comfort to these battle-weary parents. See you next month.

An army of supporters.

Who is your support network? Do you think about the people in your life who help you every day? Are you lucky enough to have an army of helpers around you, or one of the unluckier ones?

I'm not talking about those mums (or dads) with a gaggle of nannies (if that is the correct term for a collective of them), but about those of us who have others we can turn to at times when we need a bit of extra help. 

Yes! Apply within.

Last week, we had illness in our house. First it was the children and then Dad. I had a lot of help from different people in my life. Even people who gave a small amount of help have no idea how useful they were to me. 

First there was my mum and mother-in-law. Apparently, humans are one of the few species (if not the only one) where the female lives longer than her reproductive life, and it is argued that this is a result of either good design or evolution for the purpose of helping younger generations with their own child-rearing efforts. Whatever it is, it rocks!! I so could not have battled through these last couple of weeks without the help of the older females in our extended family. They came over after work and helped with mealtimes, or looked after the children who were well so I could concentrate on the poorly ones. Amazing.

Then there were the other parents in our community. Especially the ones who were kind enough to collect the well children and take them to school in the morning, or collect them from school later and bring them back. They have been a godsend.

The neighbour popped over a couple of times to see if I needed anything from the shop. She tried not to come too far in to the door, or to breathe in hard, but she was able to keep us stocked up on milk.

As I did not show my face in the school playground for a few days, the school have been fantastic in making sure I have been kept informed of anything by email or book-bag notes. Thankfully, there's not been much to worry about. 

The receptionist at the GPs surgery has been wonderful. I know some of them are complete jobsworths, but ours is ace and it would have been a lot more difficult for us if it was a major issue to be able to get reassurance from our lovely doctor. 

I am so grateful for the little army I have around me. It doesn't matter that if we were ever in a fight, they would be rubbish because keeping my family going is the only battle I concern myself with and whoever can help out with that, whatever the circumstances, can be my wing-man any time. 

Who could you not cope without?

Bedtime stories - a battle worth fighting?

The bedtime story - a cornerstone of any child's day. There are some who argue that a bedtime story is an important tool in helping your child to develop necessary language skills, like in this article. But then there are others that dispute it and place the importance on the act of speaking and listening rather than on the book or story per se, like this article in The Telegraph. I don't suppose we will ever know if they make any difference at all for sure. 

Anyway, I have a confession to make - I don't read my children a bedtime story. I don't base this behaviour on some sort of learned philosophy where I know better than the experts about this sort of thing. Simply, I just plain can't be bothered. 

Bedtime stories are one more thing to worry about in an already busy bedtime routine. They make me sleepy. I get bored of the same three books over and over again. So shoot me. 

I'm not saying we don't 'do' books. Our house is packed with books. So much, that we don't even bother getting new ones from the library. We read a lot of books. We like all sorts of things, from Maisy Mouse to Harry Potter. 

With the oldest child, we read a bedtime story every single night, but then we had a lot more time and undivided attention. We were a bit more lax with the next child. We did some bedtime stories, but we're not so much of a slave to it. Now, we don't do any bedtime stories at all. We have a slob, watch a bit of telly and then straight to bed. 

The older two children are doing very well at school, particularly in reading, so it's not like they're suffering in that sense. I do feel a bit guilty that we don't read them a story every single night, but then, I'm sure there are worse things to worry about.

What I need to know is - am I alone in this??

Protecting your children from the fallout of renegade activity. A tale of drugs and fear.

This is a guest post from Michelle, a mother of two who writes at Lost in Blaenavon.

"I know that Flower and Bear are only little, but this is a cruel world. There are paedophiles, drug dealers, drug addicts and generally some nasty people about who are addicted to the thrill that causing someone pain brings! So I'm worried for their safety. Even though I live in a quiet area, I know that there are places that I need to make sure my children avoid, but now it's being forced into their little world. But maybe I should start from the beginning!

I have a brother who is almost eight years my junior. He was a lovely child, who always tried to defend me and would always make sure he helped anyone out whenever he could. When he was about thirteen, he changed overnight! We assumed it was just the fact that he was a teenager and had hormones raging round his system like all teenagers, but it was something a lot more powerful than that, he became very secretive and started stealing money from us. We couldn't prove it was him and so we just made sure we kept no cash in the house.

When he was sixteen, the truth came out and our whole family was devastated! We're a respectable, hard working, religious family so we weren't expecting anything of the sort! It hit us all like a ton of bricks! My brother had been given drugs by a drug dealer in school and he had become addicted to cannabis and cocaine. You name it, he had tried it. He blamed my father's heart attack for his delving into drugs, but I blame the drug dealer that offered him a free sample!

He refused all help and moved out not long after. My parents knew where he was and kept an eye on him. To protect me and my siblings, we weren't told where he was living or anything. I knew a rough area where he lived, but that was it. Maybe it was a good thing, maybe not. For two years, I barely saw him and each time I did he looked worse and worse. How he kept down a job, I have no idea! Every now and then, he'd come home complaining about the lad he was sharing a house with, saying that he couldn't live there anymore, but every time my parents told him the rules for his return home, he would leave the next day and we wouldn't see him for a few months. It was hard because we never knew if the last time we saw him would be the last!

Eventually, after two years, he saw sense. He came home asking for help to free himself of the habits he'd developed so long ago. This was great wasn't it? It was good, except that his drug dealers weren't about to let a cash cow like him get away with dropping the habit! I don't think it helped that he owed them so much money!

They put death threats out on the whole family to try to scare him into giving them the money. Fortunately they didn't know where we lived, but they did have our phone number. Night after night, we would receive threatening phone calls from them and no matter how many numbers we blocked, the following night they would have another ten numbers to ring from.

The police were fabulous! I have to admit! They came and spoke to us and took lists of numbers away and generally reassured us. But the threats to our life were very real. In the first few weeks after my brother came home when the death threats started, the police said to my father that he needed to move his entire family away. We had no choice.

We tried to move my grandmother without telling her, but she was being stubborn and we had a lot of nasty comments from her friends about us taking her away. Eventually, my father told her the truth and she was the first to move. I moved with her as my volunteer work had become too dangerous in the area and I had to transfer.

We left friends and jobs and a beautiful house behind because of my brother's drug habits! In fairness, he has cleaned up his life and doesn't drink or do drugs anymore and now has three boys and a wife. At 23 he's more like the boy he was than when he was 13!

And that is what worries me about Flower and Bear. How do I protect them from the pain that I and my family suffered because of one person's stupidity! How would you do it? How would you protect your family? How can you educate your children about drugs?"

#SatCap - 15th August 2012

Saturday is caption day - Head over to Mammasaurus for more SatCap fun

Can you caption this little beauty?

#FailFriday - September 2012

Welcome to another day worshipping the gods of failure. 

Last month, there were six troopers reporting a lost battle. 

Actually Mummy linked up a post with a whole host of parenting failures, so head over there and get your fill.  

3 Children and It is struggling with stemming sibling squabbles. And there's a tongue twister if ever there was one.

Autism as a Whole told us about her battle with herself. How she feels she is failing her son by refusing to take his condition more seriously. Being told in black and white what you're trying to avoid thinking about is not good for the soul. But is she a failure? She thinks so. Go and give her some support. 

Travel with Tots has ruined Sophie the Giraffe and needs your advice. Oops. 

Mum of Three World told us about her fears for her son's birthday. She's only got herself to blame for her lack of disorganisation, but it was all right in the end, so close but no cigar for you this month. 

Last but not least, Twinkle Mummy went out and managed to lose both her children. She resorted to tactics that I am familiar with, so that's ok with me. But both children? And one of them nearly started a flood. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! This month's BIG FAT FAIL award goes to Twinkle Mummy. 

To link up your own fail story and be part of next month's round-up, grab the badge from the right, link up below and tweet us with #FailFriday. We'll share and come and say hi.

T'il next time.

Adios comrades.

Toddler wrestling. And not for fun.

Today, I was thinking. What if trying to get a toddler dressed was an olympic sport? It should be. 

It certainly feels like one. Dressing a wriggling, stubborn little person who would rather spend the day in a state of nakedness is a real battle and a half. It leaves me worn out and an awareness of muscles that I had long since forgotten about.

This morning, I watched as the twins tried to get their own trousers on. They are only 18 months old and frankly, a bit rubbish at putting their own clothes on, but they insisted on it. Every time I made like I was going to take an item from them and help them, they screamed and did 'the windmill' - arms swinging round at top speed like a whirling forcefield. Once I backed off slowly, they returned to attempting to dress themselves by putting their feet into the armholes of their t-shirts, or by sticking their arms up their trouser legs. This lasts for about ten minutes until, all too aware of the time, I jump in before they have a chance to start defensive manoeuvres and grab the clothing from the nearest one. 

Hi ya!

She screams and stamp her feet. Then, realising what is about to happen, makes a run for it. She shoots off across the living room, squealing like an escaped pig, changing direction any time I make a grab for her. Eventually I catch her, and hold her in place with one hand whilst attempting to put the t-shirt over her head with the other. But she has two hands to my one, and while I try to put the t-shirt onto her head, she is karate-chopping me with one hand and using the other to hold the t-shirt off. 

I struggle to get an arm in. She sobs in protest. While I am trying to wrestle the second arm and head in, the first arm has managed to pop it's way back out again. I shout at her, to no avail. It just makes the sobbing increase in volume. I am firm and I succeed. T-shirt down, trousers to go.

Before she can shoot off again, I grab her, sit on the sofa and trap her in a vice-like fashion between my knees. She wriggles but I have done enough to get one leg in. One. Then she gets free and dashes away, her trousers flapping behind her like a horses tail. 

In one last flurry of effort, I rugby tackle her to the ground, trap her under my weight, and get the last leg in. Ha! Victory is mine. I am knackered already, but I have one dressed toddler.

I feel like I've had a complete work-out and it's not even lunchtime. Hell, if someone designed some rules to this, I could compete internationally. I would be like the Jessica Ennis of the parenting olympics.

Dressing a single toddler would be my 1500metres - a middle-distance event that needs endurance, tactics and knowing when to make your move.

Now to do another few laps - where is her sister hiding?

#MedalMonday August 2012

This week, I came back unscathed from a short holiday with my in-laws. They booked a caravan up on the coast for a week. Mid-week I received a text from their other daughter-in-law, my comrade in arms, to say that their couple of days up there with them had been "hell". Oh goodie! It was then our turn to join them for two nights. I wasn't looking forward to it now. Mind you, I'm not sure I ever was.

Anyway, we got through the three days with no arguments - not one. The twins went mental in the caravan, running round and attacking any non-baby proofed items that they could, and there was some frustrating discussions about sleeping arrangements (i.e. how to get four adults, two children and two babies with cots into a two-bedroomed caravan), but I held my nerve, bit my tongue and we all got along just fine.

As soon as I saw the chance to make our escape, I got us out of there and back to the safety of home as quick as I could. It was fraught with danger, but the in-laws got to spend some quality time with their grandchildren, and I remain at the top of the daughter-in-law pecking order. Result. 

Medal for me.....

If you have a victory to celebrate, no matter how small, then grab the badge (code on the right), and link up your story below to be added to next month's round-up.

Over and out.

How to support a twin mum

Here is a guest post from Rebecca at Here come the girls. She blogs about life with her three girls, and especially her two year old twin terrors. Here is the advice she would give to friends or family of a multiple mum.

I was really lucky and have had lots of support from my friends and family when I found out I was expecting twins. It can be a bit of a mine field really. Everyone is expecting one child, but to find there is going to be more than one is a complete shock to everyone. People don't always know how to react, especially if they aren't familiar with twins.

1. When you find out someone you care about is expecting twins be careful expressing your own reaction. Wait to find out how they are feeling. It is such a shock. You might be overwhelmingly delighted but the expectant parents are probably just feeling bewildered and out of their depth. Equally don't tell them how hard twins are, or ask how they are going to possibly cope, they will be worrying themselves. 

I was amazed by how many comments I received which were negative about having twins. By negative I mean - how many people said "Oh god, how will you possibly cope" or "Oh no, poor you, I'd hate to have twins." Congratulate warmly and then offer help. Lots and lots of help.

2. When buying presents, check what they need, money is going to be tight, so every present needs to be useful as well as beautiful. Check the parents' views of twin clothing. People tend to have strong views on whether they want to dress their twins in matching, coordinated or completely different clothes. Also be careful giving hand me downs, sometimes it's harder to find co-ordinated outfits if that's what they want.

It may not sound fancy but probably the best present we had was lots and lots of nappies. You can make them look very fancy with bows and ribbons, but they are the most expensive outlay twin parents will have.

3. Everyone will want to visit the new babies so be careful not to overwhelm the new family in the first few weeks. Let them lead the way. Also be patient if they don't get back to you with messages or phone calls. I found this the hardest in the early days. I was so happy to get the attention but when I did get a few moments to myself I couldn't hold a train of thought. I had a few conversations where I was so drunk with tiredness I made no sense whatsoever!

4. Help as much as possible. Offer something tangible like taking the babies for a walk in the pram rather than just a general offer of help. If the family has older children don't just offer to take them out. I wanted my daughter to stay close to us so she didn't feel pushed out, yet everyone offered to look after her. Instead I would have liked someone to take the babies for a few hours so I could spend time with her, or do some jobs.

All the books say help by doing household tasks. That's brilliant in theory but not many people would want someone looking under their sofa, so check, but do ask because any help would be appreciated. The easiest way to help is to offer to pick things up from the shop before you visit, it's really tricky popping to the shop with two or more babies so this will always be welcome. You can do a big internet shop but it's tricky if you've just run out of milk. 

5. Don't compare having twins to anything else. It isn't like having one baby. It isn't like having two babies eighteen months apart. These things have their own unique challenges. It's the same if I met someone with triplets, or quads. I wouldn't say - oh yes having twins is just as hard. It isn't. Ask them what it's like and what is hard. They will delight in telling you about the unique joys of raising twins. 

Finally tell them repeatedly they look amazing, they are doing a brilliant job and you are so proud of them. Even if they greet you at the front door in a tatty dressing gown, with unwashed hair, baby sick on their shoulder, three day old make-up smeared down their face, a pile of unwashed laundry in every corner and dirty plates on every surface. Tell them they are amazing - even if their twins are nearly five and on their way to school. Honestly twin mums need all the praise they can get - dear Lord - they are they just had two babies at once - two babies I tell you! They deserve a medal. 

You can follow Rebecca on twitter @1978rebecca

or find her on her facebook page

For forks sake!

We have had an ongoing battle in our house for weeks and I, for one, am sick of it. 

The battle is one of wills between my four-year old and my eight-year old girls. They are stubborn little buggers at the best of times, but when they want something, they can really create non-stop headaches. 

We have a mish-mash of things in our house. Stuff we've accumulated over the last fourteen years of living together - first as a couple, then as a family.  Not much is coordinating or matching. We have some random stuff we can't even remember receiving. 

We have this fork. 

Oh, fork off!

It doesn't match any other piece of cutlery and I have no idea where it came from. It has a flower design down it, which isn't really 'us'. The four-year old loves it. She calls it her 'flower fork'. It probably came from one of the grandmas' collections.

Anyway, the four-year old asks for it at every mealtime. If it's dirty in the dishwasher, she doesn't mind, she can deal with it. What she can't deal with is if someone else gets it instead, like her big sister. 

The problem is that the big sister knows that her little sister loves this fork very much, and goes to great pains to make sure that she has it. Then it all kicks off. So I say....

"Don't be silly. Give the flower fork to your little sister. It's only a fork, and it makes her very happy."

The eight-year old gives the four-year old the fork, but then the four-year old does a little victory smirk.

"Muuuuuum! She's laughing at me!"

For forks sake, thinks I. I wish I'd never got the bloody fork out. I should have pretended it was in the dishwasher or something.

It goes on and on. 

So today, I was bold. I took one last pic of the offending item and put it in the bin. If it is asked for in the future, it will be perpetually 'in the dishwasher'. 

Hurrah! Victory for me. 

#FailFriday - August 2012

Wow, fails aplenty linked up last month, which is great. I think. Most importantly it means I'm not the only loser. 

So here's this month's round-up:

First of all, there is me, The Sarge, with another classic tale of taking my eye off the ball. Never, ever take your eyes off the ball. Especially when kitchen appliances are involved. Read my pitiful offering here. Oops.

Regular trooper, Katriina, ponders whether bringing her children up in a multi-national way is doing them any favours. I say yes, but then (as is shown above), what do I know? Read Katriina's story 'My little mongrel'

Actually Mummy told us all about her mummy, who has been having a moment or two. It's very bad manners to link someone else in to fail Friday, but we'll forgive her - she is only eight. Read her tale of Mummy reaching the end of her tether.

You're Not From Round Here made a complete tit of herself in front of her unwitting neighbours and children, all because of a tiny eight-legged enemy. Fail, fail, fail!!! Read her story here.

But taking the Big, Fat Fail award after submitting not one, not two, but THREE fail stories, it's Mum of Three World. Read all about a swimming trip disaster blamed on baby brain, not buying her child shoes, and a disastrous day full of school reports and crashing the car in Tesco's car park. Not clever, not pretty and nothing to be proud of.

Please visit all our failures and give them your sympathy.

Now to this week's proceedings. If you identify with the troopers above, then help is available. Grab the Big, Fat Fail badge (from the sidebar on the right), and link your post below. Tweet us on @parentfrontline with #FailFriday. We'll all come over, point and laugh, and offer our sympathy.

The battle of nappy hill.

Nappy changing - that essential job that no parent can avoid. It's crap, I know, but wishing it away isn't going to make it stop. The main problem with nappy changing is that the little person we are trying to help through the act of changing a nappy is the same little person who we have to fight to make it happen. And my word, aren't they good at resistance?

What are they thinking when we go to change their nappy? If only we could read their minds. The secret to successful nappy changing is being able to either make the little enemy conform, or to outsmart them when they try evasion tactics. Try our nappy changing advice and tips.

First of all, it pays to get good at the whole nappy changing operation while they are still too small to think about playing up. Practice doing things one handed and set yourself speed challenges. Once they start rolling over, you will find all the practice very useful.

Aw cute! But don't be fooled. These things can stink. Baaaaaad.

When they start rolling, you now have to be able to change nappies with one hand while holding the baby down with the other. If you don't have anyone around to help you, then pray that the nappy isn't tooooooo bad. Otherwise, it's game over already.

Keep the wipes within reach, unless you have twins and it's a whole different ball game altogether. This is when you need to keep them within reach of you and out of reach of the second twin, who will grab the wipes and run off laughing if you give them half a chance. Recommended kit: a play-pen. 

Also, if you do have twins or more, you will also need to practice nappy changing while blind-folded and with a wriggly weight on your back. Or you need to pay someone to do all this for you. Anyway...

If it's a really bad nappy, then get a couple of carrier bags ready - one for the waste, and one for any clothing. Avoid changing a wriggly baby on a mat placed on a carpet. Always put the mat on a wipeable floor instead. Lino is fab. I speak from experience here, so pay attention!

Older babies get wise to your tactics. When they get to around fifteen months old, they seem to comply with the nappy change, but don't be fooled. They are really lulling you into a false sense of security, biding their time until you let down your guard using your spare hand to get the clean nappy - then they're up and off quicker than a greased ferret. And that's you, chasing after a half-naked baby like a frickin' eejit. If they don't tiddle on the floor in the time between now and managing to catch them, then count yourself lucky, soldier. Do not ever remove your hand from that baby. Ever. 

As they get older, I'd like to say it gets easier, but it doesn't. They up their game, content wise. And then they get curious and start sticking their hands in. Recommended kit: straight jacket, or willing assistant. 

The next weapon in your armoury should be potty training, and the sooner the better. And good luck with that one!

Sergeant J's personal blog is over at Trouble Doubled.

#MedalMonday - July 2012

Right-o. I'm sick of hearing about all you failures* so thought it was about time we looked at the happy side of parenting - all you parenting successes. You know who you are. You might not be the greatest parent in the world ever, but I'm sure you've done something, even something very small, of which you are proud. It can be something recent or not, something funny or not, on any topic - food, crafts, a battle won.

If you have then well done you! Grab the victory badge (from the right sidebar) for your post and link up below. Tweet us @parentfrontline with #medalMonday and we'll retweet you to our army of parent troopers. We will all come and marvel at your parenting prowess and revel in your glory.

If you haven't, then you best come back next week for #failFriday. See you then. Especially you.

* I am so not. I will never, ever tire of them.

{The sarge}

The bedtime standoff.

We're having a bit of a standoff at home at the moment, the husband and I. It's over the battleground that is our four-year-old's night-time bedwetting.

It's a bit of a battle because I have one philosophy and action plan, and he has another entirely. I don't really know who's right to be honest. We are both doing what we think is best, which is all we can do, but it does lead to bickering every now and again.

My approach is to let the four-year-old have a drink before bed, if she wants one. I don't like going to bed thirsty and I don't think it's fair to force the children to. I make sure she has a wee before bed and, when I go to bed later at around 11pm, I will lift her on to the toilet where she will do another sleepy wee. This is usually enough to get her through until morning, when fingers crossed, she is dry. My philosophy is that her body will grow and learn to go longer between wees at night in it's own time and that by lifting her I am saving us a whole lot of stress in a morning, when I least need it.

His battle plan is different. He won't let her have a drink after the evening meal. She goes for a wee at bedtime but then he leaves her all night, with the logic that her body will learn faster if we're not lifting her. With this approach, she is more likely to be wet in the morning, and that leaves whoever is on morning duties to sort the bed out and give the four-year old a bath before school. But if it's his turn on duty, I don't argue because it's him that'll bear the fallout and that's his choice to make.

I wouldn't say it's causing arguments but it's probably the thing we disagree on most. I don't like the way he leaves her and then tells her off when she's wet, which I see as inevitable if you expect someone of that age to go 10 hours without the toilet - asleep or not. I tell him that I think he is wrong, but then I'm not totally convinced I'm going about it the right way myself. 

What's your philosophy on night-time bed-wetting?

#FailFriday 29th June 2012

Welcome to another Fail Friday.

Confession time: For most of today I have been calling the twins by the wrong names. Not completely wrong names, obviously - but swapping them over. My twins are 16 months old so are not in the habit of correcting me, although my four-year-old did. Several times. I ignored her. Told her she was the mistaken one. She wasn't. In my defence, my supposed non-identical girls are very, very similar. They go through phases of looking alike, and then growing apart again. Today was a looking alike day. Ah well, no harm done. Fingers crossed. I still feel like a failure though. But it happens to the best of us. And to me.

To Fail Friday. Link up your fail stories below, and leave us a comment. Tweet us if you want with the URL of your post.