Wednesday, 7 December 2011

On night watch duty.

This post has been provided by la mujre libre, who writes over on Primeras Canciones. She is the mother of five children aged from 8 to 21 years.

A Tale of Underage Drinking...
Teenagers are nuclear meltdowns waiting to happen. Or maybe that is just the teenagers in my house.

Having said he was having a sleepover at his pals (we have never had any reason not to trust him), baby giant decided to go to alcohol-hell last night. He staged a mid-teen meltdown all of his own. Decided to surpass his (marginally older) mates drinking exploits. By downing a 70cl of vodka. 70cl just for him. And neat. No dilution of intoxication for my lad.

Now, I am no angel. I have been drunk. On numerous occasions (in the past). I have seen many others drunk. And in truth, some drunks are amusing. In fact, whilst drunk I too have thought I was touched by comedic genius. No doubt in a what an arsehole kind of a way. Other drunks are angry and ugly. But most of the drunks of my acquaintance have been capable of wording their slurs and activating their homing-pigeon abilities to get them home.

Not my lad. My lad passed out in an I need my stomach pumped kind of a way. Then he lay, unconscious by the roadside in the wet and sub-zero temperatures, without benefit of jacket. Whilst his pals pondered in their own drunken way the dilemma of what do we do with him. And whilst his Reynauds Disease went to work on cutting off the circulation to his hands and feet.

They couldn't move him. He is 6ft 4" and 13 stones. He was a dead weight. Eventually they went through his mobile and decided to call his 70 yr old Papa. Not his mother. And certainly not his father. And Papa, thinking how drunk can he really be? decided to go get him on his own.

So, Papa (ex-ambulance driver and paramedic) raced to the scene. Papa checked the lad for vital signs and then got the pals to bundle him into the car. Easier said than done with a dead weight.

When he arrived here, lad was upside down with his head on the rear floor, stuck between the front passenger seat and the rear seat. That is what happens when your bones have dissolved in the alcohol soup circulating around your body. You cannot sit up. You are jelly.

It took 30 minutes to remove him from the car. He was become a giant amoeba. Insentient. Eldest son and father eventually dragged him to the house. He was hauled to my bedroom (the nearest and on the ground floor of this 5 storey house). His clothes - sodden with urine (his) - were peeled and then cut from him. He suffered the ignominy of his mother washing him. He could not utter any intelligible sounds. His hands and feet were blue (Reynauds). We placed him in the recovery position.

We spent the night - his father and I - warming and nursing and watching him. Debating whether we should call an ambulance. Until 3am, when he decided to pee my bed. Destroying duvet and mattress. At that point he woke sufficiently to stand in a shower and be shouted at.

Nobody ever said parenting was easy. There are never any guarantees. And I have never ever smugly thought my child wouldn't do that. Because we never know and cannot ever be that sure. We can imagine we have passed the right values. And that they have listened. But the siren call of hormones and peer group pressure and learning from your own mistakes - these are powerful pulls on our children. And, in the West of Scotland the alcohol culture is persistent - oppressive - omnipresent.

He is sitting across from me as I type. Having foregone the Motherwell game today (not much of a sacrifice - but still). Having handed his money over to pay for replacement bedding. Having accepted that he will be grounded until the New Year. Having handed me his Facebook password for deactivation and his mobile phone.

He has cried - with shame. Can give little explanation beyond - they were all drinking and he wasn't working today.

As his father has wryly pointed out to him he will have little excuse for poor prelim results in December with all the study time he now has before him...

I feel sad. Oh, I know, no-one has died. He has learned a valuable lesson or five. But we have a way to go before trust and respect are earned back.

ShowOff Showcase

Sunday, 4 December 2011

#MedalMonday - 5th December 2011

medal
EYES FRONT SOLDIER!

Welcome to our very first #MedalMonday. Today we celebrate all that is good in parenting. We give thanks for all those things we have done that have turned out well. This may be our little treasure's fantastic performance in the school play, a successful mealtime, a battle won with the po-faced health visitor, anything that you are proud of this week. 

Link up your blog posts at the bottom of this one and we'll all come by, cheer, and marvel at your parenting prowess. You might as well milk it for as long as it lasts - I know I would! Don't forget to grab the badge (on the right of this page), and tweet us @ParentFrontLine. A chosen post will lead out the victory parade next week. 

The post can be an old one or a new one. It can be on anything from baking to crafts, health to education - anything that you do as a parent, nay as a human being, that you are proud of. Read the full details of #MedalMonday here.

Thank you for joining in. You are a fabulous parent, and we all salute you!

Saturday, 3 December 2011

Put on your tin hat - TAT INCOMING!!!!

Guest post by an undercover lieutenant.

Image Credit
The conversations have started already in our family. What do the children want for Christmas? Every year it fills me with dread. We are lucky we have lots of generous aunties and cousins who buy lovely gifts for the children. It takes a bit of the pressure off, as we can't afford to spend a lot.

I give a list and most of the relatives buy something from that list. It means the children get something they actually want. The problem is some of them ask for the list then go and buy something completely inappropriate. We don't have a lot of space in our house, we really don't want a ball pool, a plastic car or a rocking horse. The thing is if you say it you sound really ungrateful. Last year it caused a huge argument because the oldest was given a play house. It was a beautiful toy but it wasn't what we had discussed. Also Father Christmas had bought that child a few books and jigsaws. Somehow the two presents didn't match up.

You see even saying it here makes me feel ungrateful. I was always taught to say thank you for gifts even if you secretly don't like them. I should be pleased to have my house filled with tat the children won't play with and will probably go in the charity bag in the New Year.

So this year I've made a stand. I have listed exactly what we do need for the children, some of it is practical things like a new school bag, and bedding. Anything plastic, disposable or noisy is off the list. The family aren't happy and there have been mumblings of scrooge, but I'm unrepentant. This is my Christmas wish and hopefully this year I'm going to get it.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

#FailFriday - 2nd December 2011

AT EASE, TROOPS!!

Hello and welcome to our very first linky - Fail Friday. If you want to know more about this linky, please click here. To join in, the linky is at the bottom of this post.

To kick things off, I will share with you a pretty crappy parenting fail. My baby, when she was eight months old, tried to eat a slug. Yes, a real one. A live one. I am not proud.

It was a normal Sunday morning. One of the twins decided it would be a good day to get up at stupid o'clock. I would've tried to keep her in her cot and teach her that Sunday mornings are for lying in bed, but I didn't want to wake the other twin prematurely, so I took twin one and we went downstairs. We have had a slug problem for a bit so I did a quick check of the floor before I put her down. I gave her a couple of toys and put my feet up on the sofa and tried not to close my eyes for too long, just in case. I think I succeeded. Mostly.

When I heard the chomping noise, it was all a bit of a blur. The greedy little cherub had found a slug under the sofa and couldn't resist. At that age everything ends up in the mouth, and she had made no exception for this unusual looking visitor. I think the slug now regrets his actions. He did come out again, whole, but he didn't look very well. If I hadn't been so knackered it might not have happened, but hey, these things are sent to make us all stronger. Apart from said slug. For this palaver, I respectfully award myself the Big Fat Fail badge.

fail badge

If you would like the same honour, then link up your parenting fail blog post below, grab the badge from the right hand column, and display it proudly. We will all come over and agree that you did indeed fail, but will try and provide you with all the emotional support a competent and willing soldier deserves.


Also, please do visit those that have linked up and show some love. And leave us a comment below too if you can - we love them!

Roger, over and out.
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