Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Maintaining intimate relationships with your closest ally

Thank you to an undercover trooper for this anonymous guest post.

Since having children my husband and I have been really struggling to keep up with our more intimate duties to each other and sometimes it does feel like a duty after spending a day running round after 2yo and having been up every two hours of the night with six month old. The last thing on my mind has been sex! And in fairness, hubby has been really patient with me and let me come to him when I’m ready. He’s really good like that, but it has been causing problems. And a lot of frustration for the both of us. Mismatched sex drives are bad!

So we’ve been talking for a while about how we can maintain our passion for each other despite the fact that we have two children and a cat that likes to get in the way! I think she doesn’t want any more screaming babies and toddlers! We’ve thought about a lot of things to help get me more involved.

Role Play: This was a bad idea because I kept laughing! He showed me nurses outfits. You know the ones I mean! And I just found them funny! Probably because I had a conversation with my mother about buying underwear for hubby and I stressed that it was dignified and her response was that she wears undignified things for my father. A mental picture of my mother in a sexy nurses outfit really put me off the thought of role play!

Mutual Massage: This was good, but it really got boring after a while, if you know what I mean! Although someone I spoke to in confidence about this suggested I buy a vibrator that we can use while playing.

Having Sex In Different Places: This we’ve done a lot! In fact 6mth old was conceived in my brother in law’s bed (Fact!) I think it’s just the idea that we might get caught that really turns me on!

Good Old Fashion Romance: You know what I mean! Candlelit Chinese, a bottle of wine, nice music... And then the baby wakes up for a feed. Yeah! That! Really annoying! Though now we’re bottle feeding, we can now farm the kids off somewhere and have a proper date night!

Today though, our desire to keep the passion reached a new level! We left the children at hubby’s parent’s house because they were both asleep and went for a walk. We weren’t planning on being intimate, we just wanted to spend some time together alone! We really just wanted to sit and talk and enjoy each other’s company. Well, we were sat on the bench talking and laughing and kissing. Let’s just say one thing led to another and we ended up in an empty field doing slightly more than playing! It was so much fun!!! I really enjoyed it anyway and I haven’t really enjoyed anything like that with hubby since we had the baby. Having post natal depression hasn’t really helped though. But it’s really reinvigorated my desire for hubby! And I’ve had a naughty smile on my face all afternoon!

If nothing else that’s got to be one more item ticked off the bucket list!

Is there anything else we can do to keep up our passion and intimacy do you think? What have you done?


  1. We have done bugger all. I am jealous of your field sex.

  2. I have field sex envy too!
    Good on you for making such a big effort. Efforts have been patchy at best in our house, but you have inspired me to try harder!

  3. Blimey doesnt sound like you have anything to worry about!

  4. Wow field sex?! My OH keeps suggesting the kitchen table but it just sounds so uncomfortable that I say we should just 'stick to the bed'! x

    1. Kitchen table just seems so wrong to me too. Must be getting old.


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